I was on the phone one evening with a man I had matched with on an online dating app. We had been having great conversations. He could make me laugh really easily, he was engaging and my interest was building.
At one point, he shared a very vulnerable feeling about being newly out of a 15 year marriage, and being very nervous about the next sexual engagement he would have. So I asked him, what was he going to do about it to alleviate the anxiety?
And his answer shocked me.
"I'm sure it'll work itself out."
This man had come out of a nearly sex-less, 15 year marriage and was expecting to jump into a new relationship without any intention of learning how to do it better.
I paused. He noticed the pause. I said "Oh wow". He chuckled, self-consciously and the conversation continued forward.
The next day, he called me:
"I thought about your question, I think I may have been an ass and almost missed an opportunity that could be transformational. I wanted to ask if you had any books or resources you could point me to, to become a better lover, to be better prepared for the next woman in my life?"
*Side note* To me (and other healthy women), this is the sexiest thing a man can do, step into vulnerability to become a better human, a more powerful man.
Men.... this is the turning point in your life for having a better relationship. When you put your ego aside. Admit to yourself that perhaps there is information that you don't possess and start seeking guidance.
I promise you, everything your ego wants, you are going to get, except this time, it'll be for real, satisfying and long lasting.
Once I shared the resources and my perspective, he started reading (well, listening to an audiobook) the very same day.
He was astonished with the information that he learned in just the first few chapters.
Things he had never known, despite being alive for over 39 years and being with a woman for 15 of them.
Some of the information was like reading a different language, so I helped to decipher it with him. We had many sessions, he was fully engaged in the new perspective.
He then took the newfound wisdom he curated and started dating.
His mind was blown with his results, women were activated in ways he had only fantasized about. They were responding to his intentional new energy in magical ways.
Eventually, he aligned with a woman on a consistent basis and continued his exploration of the new perspective with her. He checked in with me occasionally, things were still exciting and ever-evolving. His life took on new meaning and direction... and not just in relationships with women, but in his work too. Men began responding in positive ways to the by-product of his newly acquired leadership skills.
This experience inspired me to want to learn every way in which I can support men in having better results with women. And not in a superficial way. In a way that is deep meaning and satisfying for both parties. Good for the planet type results.
I want existing relationships that are struggling at the moment to find their joy + intimacy again.
I want men that are dating to magnetize the type of woman that they prefer.
Whichever scenario you are in, if you are a man that wants to have a more satisfying relationship, be a better lover, communicator and partner, click the link below for an invitation to work/play with me.